Pancakes of True Love
by IthkuilIsBae
Summary: Edward was happy the way he was, living alone in peace. At least, he thinks he is. But then he gets a new roommate and everything changes


Edward sighed. HE WAS DISTRJUDF. He couldn't believe that McGonagall didn't tell him that he had a new roommate. What a dick, right? He paced around his ultra big Slytherin prefect dorm cave saltily. His honey butter topaz golden amber eyes gleamed with melancholy sadness. Who would have the nerve to put some new transfer student in his private room? He bet that it was Baz. What a dick. Baz never liked him, anyway. Then his honey butter topaz golden eyes shifted from the wall to the door as McGonagall burst in wearing a pink sombrero with his new roommate. She was all:

"This is your new roommate, Edward babe. Isn't he a charmer? I think his name is Jesus? IDK LOL imma go drink some tequila. VIVA CZECH REPUBLIC! Yeehaw!" Edward just stared with his honey butter topaz golden amber eyes as Jesus pranced in. He had long, luscious, curly brown hair. Edward "hated" him instantly (lol yeah right). Edward looked Jesus in his bright bursting bubbly blue eyes and hissed (get it because he is a Slytherin). McGonagall giggled "LOL you two are so gay." She then stumbled out of the dorm, her sombrero inexplicably gone. Now, why McGonagall had come to present Jesus, Edward didn't know. Maybe Snape was taking the day off. Maybe McGonagall had finally drunk so much that she forgot which house she headed. It's not like it really mattered to Edward anyways. Edward turned and his honey butter topaz golden amber eyes met with Jesus' bright bursting bubbly blue eyes and a strange feeling flooded his stomach. It was like a very large army of butterflies invaded his guts. Now, Edward was ok with butterflies, but an army of them? Inside of him? That was kinda low-key spooky. Jesus then walked over and whispered in Edward's chiseled marble ear

"I can't wait to get to know you" Then with one bright bursting bubbly blue eye he winked and pranced to his bed. Edward flinched. What the hell was that? Also, his face suddenly turned a bright tomato ruby fire truck strawberry cherry chili pepper red. He didn't know why, and it made him angry and confused and a little sexually frustrated. Without a second thought Edward walked over to Jesus and for a second the idea of kissing him crossed his mind. Instead, being the dick he is, he looked Jesus in is bursting bright bubbly eyes and said

"My bed my rules", to which Jesus replied:

"Alright, tiger" and winked seductively. Edward blushed again. What was wrong with him?

"Anyways, Jesus, right? We should probably get to bed. Class starts early tomorrow, and I'd hate for you to start your first years here on the wrong foot." THEN THEY MADE SWEET SWEET PANCAKES WITH MAGIC. After they ate the pancakes that looked like Edward's honey butter topaz golden eyes he crawled into the bed and gestured for Jesus to join him. Jesus's face flushed, a little, and he crawled into bed.

"Sweet dreams, Eddie bear." And they fell asleep soundly.

NEXT DAY:

When Jesus got to the main hall, Edward was already sitting with a, G I R L? Was last night just a tease? Was Edward really a dick? Then th turned to Edward and her glowing white pasty moonlight face brushed his as she whispered something in his chiseled marble ears.

"Omg he is soooo hot! Look at his bursting bright bubbly blue eyes." To which Edward said:

"Yeah, I guess." He blushed.

"No way! You are totally into him!"

"Hahahah yeah omg what a hottie... he also makes great pancakes." The girl, whose name was Bella, snickered as Edward gushed about his new roomie, red in the face as the Chinese flag. Jesus pranced over to Edward and the Bella. As he sat down across from Edward his bursting bright bubbly eyes met with Edward's honey butter topaz golden amber eyes met and they both blushed and looked away. Bella then slipped a small pink glass jar into Edward's shirt pocket and said,

"Use this later". Edward looked surprised, and then a little pleased. He had a plan.

Later that day:

Edward was walking to Potions, weird pink bottle in hand when he slipped, and the contents magically spilled into the nearest sink (I know it doesn't make sense, but work with me here). He quickly realized that the sink led straight to the well that provided Hogwarts with water.

"Oh, no… that was a love potion…"

At dinner:

Everyone in the great hall was looking at Edward with love-lust eyes, that is everyone but Jesus. _Why won't Jesus look at me?_ Just as that thought crossed his mind, Jesus's foot brushed gently across Edward's leg. Then it happened again. Ignoring hundreds of pairs of lusting eyes focused on him Edward was about to say something when Jesus said in a weirdly calm but inviting voice,

"Wanna leave and go back to our room and have a little fun?" Edward, too shook to speak just nodded his head like a little kid who was just offered candy. Jesus led Edward back to their room, hand in hand. When they got there, Jesus let go of Edward's hand and slid into their closet. "Give me a sec, ok?"

"Uh, ok?" Edward was tense with anticipation. Then, Jesus burst out of the closet, Battleship, and Monopoly in hand.

"I can't believe that none of you wizards have ever played board games like this before! Man, you are missing out!" Edward gaped in surprise. To shook to speak, he just grabbed the games and said with a wink

"You are going down."

Two hours later, and after a whole lot of Jesus yelling "I AM THE LORD… of board games! Hahahahha!", Edward finally had the courage to ask the question that had been on his mind since that afternoon:

"Jesus, why aren't you affected by the love potion that contaminated our water? You're acting the same as ever! Are you immune or some shit?" Jesus' bursting bright bubbly blue eyes met Edward's and he said with his cheeks growing baboon butt red

"Because I already fell in love with you." (OHHHH SNAPPPP)


End file.
